This one is for dads: you won’t bear the cross, but you will help carry it as a beloved companion.
A beloved companion is a great characteristic of a Godly husband. Many of my friends are preparing for their first babies, and the men often ask how they should take care of their wives. Preparing for labor and childbirth is a hard thing. There’s a long road in the nine months of pregnancy, lots of uncertainty, plenty of pain. It’s difficult for a man to watch his wife endure suffering. Men would far rather bear it for their wives than watch their women go through pain.
When I had my second baby, we delivered at a quiet birth center. There was no induction, no epidural, no hustle and bustle of the hospital. Labor was raw, hard, and moved very fast. I remember being scared, even though I’d felt that same pain before with my first. Even when I knew what was coming, the contractions, the pushing, everything, it was hard. I told my husband I couldn’t do it.
The agony of childbirth is nothing compared to Christ’s agony, but I felt united to the Lord in that moment. His sweat became blood in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus himself feared the pain that awaited Him. He faltered, if only for a moment, in His resolve to endure the coming suffering. Yet He did not bear His agony alone. An angel comforted Him in the garden. His best friend, John, was at the cross.
St. John was Christ’s comfort on the cross.
Labor is very much like the cross. Hours of pain and torment lead to new life. The sacrifice of one saves the life of the other. Both times I’ve been in labor, I’ve looked at my husband as my beloved companion. St. John couldn’t relieve Jesus of the cross, but he stood beside Christ. John endured the pain with his friend. He refused to leave Jesus, even if it was painful to watch Him die.
Husbands cannot relieve or take the pain of labor. They can endure it though, sharing it by being present with their wives. The moments your wife goes through pain and fear are the moments you can be her hero. Labor is when you can make her smile when she wants to die, build her up when she feels weak. Remaining in her suffering as John remained by the cross is what will make the difference. Being present, engaging with her through the pain, will build the love in her heart she needs to endure labor. Making her feel safe and treasured will help your wife in ways you cannot imagine.
That’s all it takes. Be a beloved companion for your wife as she carries the cross of labor. Love and care for the child she brings. John helped Jesus endure the cross. Help your wife endure childbirth.
