Boundaries in Marriage

by | Jul 10, 2023 | Family Life, Marriage, Marriage Prep, Society, Uncategorized

Boundaries are Necessary:

In marriage…boundaries are necessary!  Do you want to know why?  Because, yes, it’s still possible to be tempted away from our spouse…How annoying, right? Even when we’ve made a lifelong commitment of fidelity, love, and we have built our entire lives around the person we know as our best friend. We are still not immune to temptations of the devil.

Did you know that over half of extra-marital affairs occur between friends. Spouses are just as likely to cheat with someone they know personally as they are with someone they barely know. It’s a little bit startling!

It can be an adjustment when we get married to (1) realize we’re still not spared the temptations of infidelity, and (2) change how we interact with the opposite sex. The thing about marriage is, the higher we climb the farther we fall. The more beautiful a commitment we’ve established, the more careful we need to be to not put ourselves in any position to jeopardize that commitment. Here are a couple practical boundaries to set with the opposite sex to avoid any possibility of infidelity.

Don’t Communicate in Private

Joshua and I have several sets of couple friends. Most of the communication is done through me and the other wives, and Joshua does not even have their phone numbers. When I need to arrange something through a friend’s husband, I always use a text conversation that has Joshua in it. I don’t even allow myself the option to text another man in private. My husband sees everything.

Don’t Spend Time Alone Together 

It’s a very rare thing for me or Joshua to be alone with a member of the opposite sex. If it happens, it’s because I’m picking up a large purchase with a friend with a truck, or Joshua is coming home from work when I’m out and a friend is watching our son. But, these kind of cases only happen with our two closest friends, who are also a couple, who we’ve known for years, and who we spend most of our time with together. We four have such an integrated, group friendship it makes it nearly impossible for any of us to be able to hide something from the others, and actually helps guard against the possibility of temptation! Be friends with each other’s friends so that if there are occasions like this, you have people to trust inherently.

Be Transparent with Your Spouse 

Never, ever, EVER hide anything from your spouse. If a friend of the opposite sex reaches out to you to spend time with them, tell your spouse. If someone tries to share an intimate secret with you, respectfully let them know and then tell your spouse. Nothing can be hidden from your spouse when it comes to a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. No intimacy, emotional or physical, should ever be shared. Your spouse needs to be included at all times.

Put up Guards:

Guard your marriage, guard your heart, guard your life. No one can take any place that belongs to your spouse.

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Michelle C. Martin

Michelle graduated from Texas Tech University with her husband, Joshua, in May 2021 and married him in June on the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. She has a degree in Communication Studies and has loved growing in knowledge of healthy and authentic relationships during her time in college and adulthood. Michelle and Joshua currently reside in Lubbock, TX where he works as an architect and she loves life as a stay-at-home wife and mother to their children, Peter and Cecilia.

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