I have a t-shirt that says, “I’m not a control freak, you’re just doing it wrong!” Sadly, that saying rings way too much truth for my life. Ask my kids…do you think they can clean my kitchen properly? Of course not. I am the first to admit that I like to be in control in my world. I used to have a phobia of the stomach flu simply because it’s a loss of control…Yes, I took anxiety medication because I was so afraid that the stomach flu would hit our home…Crazy, right? I knew if one kid would get it, another would, and then another, and then it’d be me or my husband…I had no control over when it would hit or where. I hated it! I do not like feeling like my world is spinning out of control.
This behavior of mine lead me to wonder how God could possibly work in my life if I didn’t let go of control. So, through prayer, asking God for the gift of courage, and the intercession of many saints I have worked hard to let God be in control in my life. There are times He needs to gently remind me that He is in control, but together He and I have done a pretty good job of helping me be obedient to His will.
Since I have made a commitment to obedience, I have adopted two children, I have left a job that I absolutely loved, I have homeschooled three of my children, I have sent them back to school, I have worked on my health, I have placed my children in His hands instead of my own, and several other little things each and every day! This commitment to obedience has made a HUGE difference in my life. I have way less stress, way less sadness, and a whole lot more joy.
This obedience doesn’t mean that I never have suffering! In fact, suffering is always going to be part of the Christian life. Currently I am living through the greatest suffering I have endured in my life…the separation from my son (waiting to complete an out of country adoption) has been and still is excruciating pain for me. However, there is no way that I would be able to pick myself up and live each day without an incredible amount of trust and obedience in God. I cannot imagine what my life would look like if I tried to control this situation. I likely would have been arrested for trying to sneak into the country he is stuck in. Thank goodness that hasn’t happened, I have four other kids and a husband who still need me at home ? (though they may welcome a break from the mom who is a kitchen control freak.)
So, my question to all of you is, is there somewhere in your life that you are having a hard time giving up control? If the answer is yes, I encourage you to pray for courage, ask St. Therese to help you become little, and let God reign as the Master of your life! Its not easy, and you can’t do it alone…but there is good news…God doesn’t ask us to do it alone. If we ask, He will help! Trust in Him and your life will end up better than you could have ever controlled…I promise!