I understand why you’re scared.
Know that it doesn’t make you any less of a woman, of a Catholic, and absolutely, not less of a wife.
Being a mother is difficult. Giving up so much of your time, your body, and your life is frightening. Waking up every morning with no way to gage what your day will look like and going to sleep every night with no clue how much rest you’ll get is hard.
Just as every pregnancy is different, no one’s journey through motherhood will be the same. Not everyone gets married wanting to have kids right away. That doesn’t make some of us better and others worse.
For my part, I became pregnant with Peter three months after we got married. I thought we would conceive over our honeymoon, and honestly, was disappointed when we didn’t. But now I can’t have any regrets. Because any other combination of sperm and egg would have made a different baby. Only one combination could make the Peter who sleeps next to me right now. And I love him more than I ever knew I could love somebody.
God will give you a baby when He knows it’s time to bless you with one. We have the beautiful gift of working in harmony with Him through NFP. There is nothing wrong with working with the design to avoid pregnancy until you and your husband decide you want to try.
Trying to have a baby was an incredible experience. Knowing exactly what my body was doing, knowing it could bless us with our first child, deliberately working with God, was nothing short of empowering. It is an experience that spouses can and should relish.
If you want to wait to have children, if you are struggling to conceive children, or if you are hating pregnancy right now (Lord knows I did), you are not less of a woman.
Embrace God’s design for your body and your life, whether through achieving pregnancy or avoiding pregnancy.
Your time will come.
Your Peter will come.
Sisters, I’ll be praying for you.