Making Your Wife Miserable

by | Jun 8, 2023 | Family Life, Marriage, Marriage Prep, Society

Making your wife miserable is the ultimate goal, right?  I’ll just go ahead and say it: women can be obnoxious. We are clingy, needy, and hardly ever on the same page as men. So, as a gift to the gentlemen, here are three ways guaranteed to get back at your woman and make your wife miserable.

Step One To Misery:

Always Expect Sex

You did the chastity thing when you were dating!  Enough is enough!   Now NFP tells me that we have to go through times of abstinence. UGH!  It now happens to be that magical “unfertile” time on the calendar, (or even better my wife is pregnant and cannot get pregnant again).  Thus, sex is my marital right! My wife should oblige, right!

This should not even be a conversation if we are in an ideal time frame to have sex. When it’s bedtime, it’s bed time! Not giving your wife any consideration for her desires and needs in the arena of sexual intimacy is a 100% promised method of making her miserable…and getting more sex in the process! Win for the husbands, am I right?

Step Two To Misery:

Make Emotional Intimacy a Chore

Husbands must apply mental energy all day at work. Why should you have to do it at home? Most of what women need a relationship is emotional attention, so being lazy like you already want to be is not only certain to make her miserable, but it is also so very easy!

Do you ever go out to a restaurant and see those guys on their phones while their girl is talking? Or see the men who keep their hands in their pockets while they walk beside their date? They are secretly masters at making emotional intimacy a chore. There are few things that crush a woman as effectively as being ignored, especially, when she’s dressed up and ready for a date.

Step 3 To Misery:

Never Acknowledge Her Work

You know how much you appreciate it when your wife asks how your day was? Or when she tells you she’s proud of you? Women enjoy that too! Taking that kind of acknowledgement away from her is the last great way to make her miserable.

Whether she is in the workforce or at home, be sure to never EVER say the words appreciate, proud, or thanks. Women crave approval from those we love. We want our efforts to be seen and appreciated. Regularly neglecting to acknowledge your wife’s work will not only make her miserable in the moment, but it will also build resentment forever!  DOUBLE WIN!

Is Your Wife Miserable?

Be sure to monitor your behavior this week for the best results. Did you always expect sex, no matter how your wife was doing? Were you sure to ignore her emotional needs? How about refusing to acknowledge anything she did? Is she miserable yet???

Or were all these things already happening… and is that why your wife seems to be so clingy and needy in your marriage?

In the case that this article seems too “real life” for you, I encourage you to take time to inventory your marriage this week and see where you fall on the misery scale.  If you are doing all three behaviors I exaggerate in this article, it may be time to turn off the misery.

This blog is part two of a satire series, see the first one here:

Disclaimer: (This article is satire for anyone who may misinterpret the goal)

Michelle C. Martin

Michelle graduated from Texas Tech University with her husband, Joshua, in May 2021 and married him in June on the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. She has a degree in Communication Studies and has loved growing in knowledge of healthy and authentic relationships during her time in college and adulthood. Michelle and Joshua currently reside in Lubbock, TX where he works as an architect and she loves life as a stay-at-home wife and mother to their new son, Stanley Peter.  


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