Making your husband miserable is the ultimate goal, right? Wives, do you feel like your marriage is a bit stale right now? Are you tired of how little effort your husband is putting into you? Do you feel like love and affection are a bit on the cold side? It is time to get back at him…you with me?
Below are three ways guaranteed to make your husband miserable!
Step One to Misery:
Never Express Appreciation
Did your husband take out the trash, do the dishes, switch over launder, or work hard to provide for the family all day? Do NOT acknowledge any of that! This first step is a crucial ingredient to making any man miserable! It is important to never express appreciation, satisfaction or any interest in him.
When my husband comes home from work, I typically have a baby in my arms and dinner cooking on the stove. I dare not stop to say, “Welcome home!” or give him a kiss. That would be too much effort on my part! During this busy time of my day I have more important things going on than to stop and say hi to him after he’s been gone all day. However, one thing I do, is take a minute, to see just how sad my husband looks when I ignore him. Misery has been achieved!
Step Two to Misery:
Don’t ask him about his day
This step is pretty easy, but it will require a little more mental attention on our parts ladies. First I want you to think of the moments that you are sitting at the dinner table or lying in bed before you go to sleep…it is during these times that my husband makes weird quiet stretches or groans where he is just not giving me anything to work with. Can you relate? For this step to work I have to be diligent and first never ask him about his day, and second not ask him about anything related to himself!
Talking and emotional connection if for women. Men don’t care about that stuff, do they? As a woman, I should have total priority for venting about my day and commanding the conversation. Why bother to hear how he’s doing? If he wanted me to know, he’d tell me…am I right? In these moments I know what he wants, he wants the space to sit alone in his unhappiness and finally to sweep it all under the rug. I’m am for sure NOT the problem.
Step Three to Misery:
Make sexual intimacy a chore
“We just had sex yesterday!”
This line will never fail to make your husband miserable. It is not a secret that women desire sex less than men do. So, for good measure, make sure intimacy with him is a chore.
Certainly, men and women have different intimacy needs. For example, husbands are more like children who enjoy being physical. Whereas, wives are more sophisticated and appreciate that emotional connection. Indeed, the world has told us that sex is just for physical appeal. Have you ever heard of physical and emotional connection at the same time? Husbands wanting sex means that they are being self-centered. According to the world, men cannot honor and respect our bodies with God’s perfect act of unity. Sex is all for pleasure! Now this is important, do not let him forget that each chore of sex is all for him, and that really, you could care less!
Is Your Husband Miserable?
In order to monitor your husbands misery this week, pay attention to how well you have done! Did you refuse to express appreciation, ask him about his week and or his feelings, and did you make your sexual embrace a chore? Is your husband miserable yet???
On the other hand, maybe ask yourself, “were all these things already happening?” “Is this why love and affection feel stale in my marriage? Furthermore, this could be the reason why your husband has no idea how to interact with you?
In the case that this article seems too “real life” for you, I encourage you to take time to inventory your marriage this week and see where you fall on the misery scale. If you are doing all three behaviors I exaggerate in this article, it may be time for turn off the misery.
Disclaimer: (This article is satire for anyone who may misinterpret the goal)