Love triangles are popular tropes- and there’s nothing loving about them.
In any book or movie, my least favorite thing is a love “triangle. There are even articles written about “the best love triangles!” See here: https://tvline.com/lists/tv-love-triangles Without a doubt, people seem to enjoy the struggle of choosing between two individuals to pursue. The fact is, we are called to a more mature responsibility than that.
Our identity cannot be in our partner.
The allegory of love triangles is the chance to choose between two paths. The (more commonly) men involved are often polar opposites. One is gentle and the other is aggressive. The (more commonly) women choosing between them is not seeking a partner, but a way of life. She is determining how she wants to approach her problems and the world.
This popular trope promotes identity within relationships. Yes, the person we choose to marry will impact the direction of our life. But they don’t determine it. We are meant to discern our path and then find a spouse who supports it. Our lives are made to serve God, not to serve man. We cannot blend into another person like a chameleon and become who fits their narrative without understanding our own.
In real life, we don’t get to bounce between two approaches to life. We walk one path that can change, but we only walk one at a time. We cannot pursue a corporate job while dabbling in traditional housewife life. Neither can we be free and unattached while taking care of children. You cannot “cheat” on your life the way characters cheat on each other in love triangles. Trying to do so will tear us apart even faster than cheating on our partner.
Our identity is with God.
We are made for unity with God and unity with each other under God. No one is meant to be tortured through their own life choices. We are made to struggle and discern, to grow through our pain. Pushing off our crosses to try and have everything we want will leave us with nothing.
There is nothing loving about indecisiveness. Love itself is a choice.
