Self-implosion: I don’t know about you, but I am overwhelmed. It’s barely midway through January, and already I feel like the world has come crashing down onto my back.
Lately, my dreams and goals are often sacrificed in favor of work, work, work. I’m not complaining about having a job. I’m really quite glad I’m lucky enough to be in a steady, friendly work environment that allows me to pay bills and feed my cat. But I am overwhelmed, and that’s a reality that’s hard to change. It’s especially difficult for me these days, because stress is a massive trigger for my addiction, and I really don’t want to fall back into that pattern. This, in turn, stresses me more, which leads to more temptations, and so on.
What’s a girl to do? I know, I know. Exercise. That’s what my mother tells me. Others will say turn to prayer. Or go socialize. They’re not bad suggestions, but personally, I’m of a contrary nature, so when someone tells me to do these things, I really want to do the opposite. I want to curl up in my bed, with my cat and a good book that doesn’t ask me to think too hard. Is that so much to ask?
I think we’ve all been there, or are currently there. It’s that time of year. We’re sick (often literally) of winter. The world had slowed down before Christmas, and now it’s going so fast we wish it would crash into a wall and stop. All the exciting things seem to be ahead, or behind, and we feel like we’re stuck in the middle, waiting for something, anything, to happen to break us out of our funk.
I realized something very important today. It’s okay. Seriously. It’s okay to be overwhelmed. Better yet, it’s okay to share your frustrations. You’re not alone. I have you, whoever you may be reading this, and you have someone in your life who’s waiting to hear you.
Yes, of course, God is always present. He loves us and He’s there to listen, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be hard to talk to Him at times. He gives us flesh and blood people in our lives because He knows we like to have tangible friends who can physically pat us on the back or give us a hug when we’re in need. One thing that’s helped me a great deal in this struggle to keep from imploding is learning my Love Language. There’s a handy little test (free! Woo!) right here: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/
Learn your Language, and find someone who speaks it. When you’re feeling like you can’t go on, go to that person. Even better, find a way to take a break from whatever is overwhelming you. Yes, even your children. You love them, they’re darlings, but go out and get ice cream, just for you. Go to the library by yourself for some quiet time. I would give an extroverted suggestion here, but I’m not entirely sure what it is that makes extroverts happy so—go be extroverted by yourself, I guess?
Look, the point is, don’t be too hard on yourself. The work will get done. The children will be fed (eventually). Step back. Take a breath. Learn what makes you happy, and do it every day, at least once a day. You can’t help your children grow if you’re being crushed, and your work can’t blossom if you’re dead inside. Procrastination isn’t a bad thing if it means you’re getting your oxygen back. In fact, I’d argue that that’s far more important than anything else in life, and shouldn’t count as procrastination.
I’m not saying flee to the Bahamas and never return, although that is an incredibly tempting notion. (Sidenote: if you never see another blog from me … I’m in the Bahamas and I’m not coming back.) But do take off an hour, half an hour, ten minutes, when you can. Treat yourself. A sick doctor can’t help anyone. Breathe. And don’t worry. I’m overwhelmed too.