We thrive when we eat the right nutrients- so what happens when we feed ourselves bitterness?
Bitterness is not a great taste, don’t you agree? I’m sure we’ve all heard the phrase, you are what you eat. We all know we’re healthier and happier when we eat a balanced diet. Of course, it’s fine to have desserts in that balance. We can go a long weekend eating greasier, fattier food as long as we return to the balance soon after. But any indulgent foods still have some value to our bodies and emotional states. If we were to eat poison, even a little, it would hurt us very badly.
Feeding ourselves bitterness is emotional poison.
Bitterness is poison to our marriages and family lives. Every pregnancy, I hit a point that I just have to delete social media. People will share bitterness at every turn, especially in the form of “funny cartoons”. Husbands and fathers are portrayed as useless while wives and mothers are presented as victims and martyrs. When we’re tired and struggling, it’s easy to let that bitterness feed our hardships.
The social world would have us believe mothers are inherently superior to fathers. After all, we carry the babies. We have to birth them. Mothers often nurse them. Depending on the marriage, mothers might be the primary parents taking care of the babies. No matter what your marriage looks like, the work of parenting will never, ever, be equal.
That doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I can recognize that my husband will never be able to “mother” our children. And I will never be able to “father” them. He’ll never be pregnant. I’ll never be the financial provider. Feeding your marriage gratitude and your parenting a healthy perspective allows you to get through the more “bitter-prone” times. Especially when there’s a new baby in the house!
But feeding our lives bitterness doesn’t allow any room for change. It doesn’t allow other nutrients into your “life diet.” Bitterness roots and grows in our hearts. It leads to score-keeping and double standards. Bitterness doesn’t allow us to appreciate our different functions. It hurts our marriages like poison.
We need to feed our marriages-gratitude. In addition, we need to feed our parenting-patience. Being a spouse or a parent is not easy. But we don’t need to add poison to the struggle.
