“Passing encounters are only a caricature of love; they injure hearts and mock God’s plan” Pope St. John Paul II.
The other day, a friend and I were reminiscing about our engagements before marriage. I dated my husband for nearly three years and then was engaged for nine months. My friend dated her husband for two years and then was engaged for five months. People had many opinions about our quick engagements and ere not afraid to ask us about it. The question I got asked a lot was, “Do you guys not have sex? Is that why you’re getting married so fast?” My friend’s main question was, “Are you pregnant or something?”
Getting married is unthinkable to some people, and getting married quickly is unthinkable to most. What happened? People used to get married young, start having kids, and have beautiful marriages. Now we date forever, break up, date more, have a kid or two, maybe eventually get married.
Passing Encounters:
Passing encounters, as described by St. John Paul II, are the root of this problem. Sex before marriage is not just a temptation, it’s a pastime. It’s a tool for when you want to feel good. Sex is a “tryout” for a potential future spouse. Hookup culture has made fast marriages unthinkable. There are two main thoughts that come to mind when people actually want to get married. (1) you want to have sex, or, (2) you already made a baby.
Passing encounters injure hearts and mock God’s plan. The injured hearts become incapable of recognizing love and marriage are natural, beautiful steps in life. Hearts injured from passing encounters and hookup culture live in fear that they cannot know if someone is good to marry. For the most part, that’s even true! Sex before marriage, especially regular sex within a committed relationship, clouds our judgement. Intimacy without security makes it extremely difficult to decipher warning signs and red flags from normal, acceptable problems.
Sex before marriage also mocks God’s plan. It takes the marriage vows without ever making them. Premarital sex violates God’s perfect design for men and women. Sex is a treasure of God’s harmony with the human race that should not be mocked. It should not be taken out of place. Passing encounters should not cloud of judgement for what is right and natural.