We are mid-January and now we cannot go anywhere without seeing red and pink hearts…they are everywhere! Many people enjoy the upcoming holiday, while others dread the holiday, calling it, “Singles Awareness Day” instead of Valentine’s Day.
Let’s look a little closer at the star of the holiday, St. Valentine himself. Although little is really known about his life, we do know that he was strong in his faith and he refused to renounce his faith, leading to him being martyred on February 14, 269. Legend states that while he was imprisoned, he healed the jailor’s blind daughter and on the day of his execution left the daughter a note signed, “Your Valentine.”
In our world today, we celebrate by giving loved one’s cards and small tokens of appreciation. This is a good practice, of course, but the whole point of this article is to challenge you to make every day Valentine’s Day. Never take a moment for granted and make sure those you love know you love them…at every moment…of every day.
In life, I have been known to take things to an extreme, and there is not a day that goes by where my children are not told several (million) times that I love them. One of the fun ways I do this happens to be when we are driving down the road, I randomly say one of my children’s names very peacefully to which they respond, “What?” I immediately shout… “I LOVE YOU!”
They have become so accustomed to this practice that if I say their name to get their attention, they beat me to it by yelling, “I LOVE YOU!” Though this is a fun way to say I love you back and forth, me saying I love you is not always enough. My words can say, “I Love You,” but maybe my actions are not saying that at all. My children need physical touch, words of affirmation, my time, and my undivided attention.
My family’s daily reality is waking up, getting ready for work, school, and homeschooling, rushing out the door with those that need to be taken to school, getting home after work and school, making supper, doing homework or chores, going to bed, only to start the whole day over again the next day. It is difficult to find those moments daily to let our family members know we love them.
I’m here to offer you some practical ways to make every day as meaningful as Valentine’s Day. Again, my family is not the model family, but we are intentional about gestures of love to one another. Our family uses Dr. Gary Chapman’s “Five Love Languages” to do this. Chapman has defined the love languages as: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and gifts.
Each of my children have vastly different love languages. My oldest is a quality time girl. She feels most loved spending time alone with me and her dad. Weekly, we try to meet those needs by a chat in the prayer room together or taking only her on an errand to the grocery store. Though it is not spectacular, it is meaningful, and she feels loved.
Our next child feels loved when she receives words of affirmation. She loves to be told we are proud of her and when we acknowledge something good, she has done. She also loves it when we write her quick notes letting her know that she is loved.
Our oldest son is in every way, shape, and form a physical touch boy. He loves to wrestle, cuddle and just be close to people. At nine years old he is already stronger than I am so I do not wrestle him, I leave that to his dad and I choose cuddling.
Our youngest spent the first three years of his life in an orphanage and thus he soaks up all the physical touch and quality time he can get. My husband is also a physical touch guy and though I joke, “I am NOT a toucher,” I find ways to let him know I am close and that I love him.
Understanding and speaking our loved one’s love languages each day allows us to live Valentine’s Day every day.
Understanding Chapman’s “Love Languages” helps you in every relationship in life. It’s not just about spouses and children. Do not forget people beyond your immediate family. It is also your parents, siblings, friends, etc. This year, on Valentine’s Day, commit to finding the love language of the people in your life and be intentional about making each day, Valentine’s Day!
