“It’s Gonna Be Ok!” While I was driving in my car yesterday, I heard these words on the radio. About a week ago, after going to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, I decided to change my radio station from country music to Christian music. I realized that swearing had become commonplace in my life and I wondered if it was because of the music I was listening to. Many of the songs on the radio had small swear words in them and I think my mind went numb to them.
My language, especially when I was frustrated, was reflecting those words that I was hearing in the music on the radio. Surely it was not just me being a potty mouth…It had to be the music, right ?
Regardless of the reason, I made the switch and I heard exactly what I needed to hear. “It’s gonna be ok!” There are so many reasons why I needed to hear that little phrase today. A stressful day of homeschooling, a son stuck in China with no foreseeable date to go get him, an upcoming knee surgery, wondering if my son with Down Syndrome should be in school or if I should be keeping him home, (I read an article that children with Down Syndrome have a ten times higher death rate than a normal child if they contact COVID), the state of our country and our government, financial pressures, keeping my children happy, my husband happy, getting groceries ordered for pick up, cooking supper, an on and on and on.
I am a pretty high strung, “type A” person. I like to have all my ducks in a row and I like to have order and organization. I like to know what is coming next! However, since March, when COVID hit the United States, us “type A” people really needed to work on letting go of control. My heart hurts for us “type A” people! In our world today we do not know what will happen from day to day, or for that matter minute by minute.
For me, I have to be ready to leave for China whenever China says we can come. Typically, we have two weeks to prepare once a travel invitation is made, but I am not sure we will have two weeks this time. Our family has prepared as much as we can, but now we wait, and wait…and wait. Any of us can get a call one moment that will change our lives for the next fourteen days…It will be time to quarantine again because we are a close contact of a positive COVID case. All plans come to a screeching halt and we begin to worry if we will be positive for COVID. Next week we have an election that will cause turmoil for our nation, no matter the outcome.
Am I the only one who can be sad one moment, angry the next, and then filled with peace, reminding myself that it’s gonna be ok? It seems that after I feel peace, I end up going back only to start the cycle all over again! I know I feel peace because I lay my burdens at the feet of Jesus, but as quickly as I leave them there I take them back…leaving my burdens means that I have to let go of control, and letting go of control is a very scary place for this “type A” person to go.
However, even though I lay my burdens down and then take them back again, God still wants me to do this…He wants all of us to do this! He knows we will do this dance back and forth with Him and He is ready to do the dance. He knows that one day, we will fully surrender our burden, He will be there to take our pain and suffering, and…if we let Him, He will keep it for us, He will not give it back to us! Surrendering is difficult, God knows that! However, in today’s first reading, Paul reminds us to; “Draw your strength from the Lord and from His mighty power!” (Eph. 6:10) We cannot surrender without the help and power of God.
Friends, amidst the fears and uncertainties that surround us in our world today, which I dare say are not going anywhere, anytime soon…I encourage you to keep walking to the cross. Keep giving your struggles to the Lord, even if moments later you just take them back again. Do not give up, and trust that in the end, “It’s gonna be ok!”