We don’t always get what we want, but God gives us what we need.
Last October, I gave birth to my beautiful daughter. Just days before my girl’s first birthday, a wonderful friend who helped deliver her birthed her first baby. Seeing my daughter grow up, seeing my friend have her little boy, it’s all made me remember that God always gives us what we need.
If there is one time a woman wants everything to go according to plan, it’s when she gives birth. We think our weddings are stressful, then we realize how scary it is to go through labor. It can happen any time of the day or night. Your water can break out of nowhere or contractions can start up hard and fast. You can be in labor for days or minutes, and both are pretty rough! We want to know what will happen, to have a plan. But things don’t go according to plan.
God gives us everything we need.
When I had my daughter, nothing was the way I wanted it. I thought it would be easier than my first birth, that I’d know what to expect. Instead, I ended up even more scared than I was with my son. I still needed intervention, even though I badly wanted everything to be as “natural” as possible. The pain was different than it was with my first labor. It scared me, and I didn’t think I could deliver her even after doing it before.
My friend was a student midwife when she helped deliver my girl. She has seen dozens of births, caught babies, comforted mothers. Yet she felt out of control during her labor. She was just as scared, in just as much pain, just as worried as anyone. When I saw her, she said she wished she was “better” at this.
I realize now, in this stage of life, how many of us want to be “better.” Friends on their second pregnancies want to be “better” at handling it. Mothers giving birth want to be “better” at handling what’s perfectly natural for us. But things don’t go according to plan. Because that’s our plan. That’s our idea of better. It’s our standard for ourselves.
God says we are made in His image and likeness. Even Jesus wept for the pain He would endure on the cross. Jesus felt abandoned. He needed help.
We are made in the image of God. All of us are allowed to need help. We can plan, we can scheme, we can tell ourselves to be better. God doesn’t give us what we want; He gives us what we need. He gives us our Simon’s, our John’s, our Mary’s, and Joseph’s. Stop looking for what you want and accept what you need.