One of the best things for marriage is a culture of fondness and admiration.
Fondness and Admiration are essential to human relationships. As you all know, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner! If you haven’t made your plans yet, be aware February 14th is also Ash Wednesday!
Valentine’s Day is the feast of St Valentine. He is best known for bringing words of encouragement, both verbally and in notes, to Christians imprisoned for their faith. This spirit of love and care has been co-opted into a modern holiday for couples. The word Valentine is now synonymous with significant other. But why?
Couples need to affirm each other.
Of course in today’s world there is chocolate, teddy bears, and roses we give to each other on Valentine’s Day. However, a tradition remains for both friends and lovers to give cards to one another. At a basic level, we want to be affirmed by those we care about. We all desire to have friendships of fondness and admiration.
For couples, fondness and admiration are not “nice things”. They are necessities. Human beings have many ways to communicate affection, and we need all of them. The five love languages come to mind: words of affirmation, physical touch, gift giving, quality time, acts of service. While many of us have primary ways we prefer to be loved, all five build a strong relationship.
Valentine’s Day is a good time to do them all!
I’m a planner. I usually do the scheduling and organizing for our lives. That’s not a bad thing at all. But Joshua always plans Valentine’s Day. He selects and reserves a restaurant, he finds a babysitter. My husband performs this special act of service for me and spends quality time with me. I know a lot of people think Valentine’s Day is silly, but it really means a lot to me that this date is set apart! It doesn’t have to be Valentine’s Day, but spouses should establish a special time that they go out of their way to love each other. Perform an act you would not normally. Spend special time together. Give each other small gifts to incorporate their love language. Try to hit all five!
If you ever wonder what weight words carry, remember that Peter denied Jesus with his words. Mary accepted her calling to be the Mother of God. Satan tempted Eve. Christ forgave His executioners. Words can quite literally make or break us. Cultivate a culture of fondness and admiration in your marriage. Never speak ill of your spouse. If you do, rectify those words five times over.
Happy Valentine’s Day!